Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!! Hello 2008
Originally uploaded by ganners.

This has been an incredible year for me. Where I am not is not where I could have ever guessed this time last year. So many great things have happened and few that I have learned from. I hope 2008 is the best yet for us all.
Not sure where we will celebrate this year....but I know I will be drink ing champagne. A toast for all of you! Cheers and all the best!!

Not as bad

I thought it was going to be awful this past week. It was just me on Monday and my fearless leader was back on Wednesday. Seeing as how we use firms for all of our work we must pay them. I understand this. You get a legal bill, make sure you are not being utterly gouged and you pay it. Simple enough. When I tell you my bill basket is empty I mean you can see through the bin and see my desk. As in nothing in it. As in keeping up my daily work. Other people however don't mind leaving bills unpaid. When I tell you we went through over 2 feet of bills I am not kidding. It was over $200k in bills we paid. It needed to be done before the end of the year for the firms and for us. The upside is that my pending did not grow. The even better part is I have a 4 day weekend to blow off some steam and drink some champagne for New Year's Eve.

'Tis the Season

While in downtown running around doing some shopping I went by the Tower Liquor store. Not what I would usually expect to see out front.....it was a Shriner collecting money outside the liquor store. Yay! Get your liquor and throw your change in the pot for an unfortunate child.

Whatever, I've been super fly busy

It seems like it was just Thanksgiving......It really has been a blur for me.
The first weekend of December I got to jet set up to Raleigh for the Christmas party by the fab hub's new office. I was there for less than 24 hours. The flight up was the worst thing for me in travel history. I had never had a bad travel day before. I aways fly out of and into Atlanta so not much bad can happen. They are the Mussolini of airports: the planes will run on time!
I get on the plane. Sit by the window in the row of three seats. Then it happens: a screaming child is on the lap of the lady next to me. And guess who is beside her? Yeah, her stupid sister with another stupid crying baby. The babies crying activates a little yappy chihuahua that is seated under the seat beside me. It is my own personal Hell. Did I mention that we were stuck for an hour? We were. We took off after we should have already landed. The worst ever.
The second weekend of December we had our 4th annual Holiday Warm Up Christmas Party. I had champagne pomegranate punch that people were licking the bottom of the bowl for and Hypntq Glacier Drop Martinis that were super yummy. The food was so good that when I was cleaning up around midnight I could not find a bite to eat.
Last weekend we hit Lenox and Phipps for some fabulous Christmas shopping. I highly recommend "Would you Rather.....?" as a super good stocking stuffer. Get the small travel size one...no need for the board and hoopla because you will not use it. Would you rather shave your dad's ass or your mother's bikini??
This weekend we tie up the loose ends and Mom comes in on Sunday. It is a blur.
I have been working my ass off. I have a pending of 193. I pray to sweet baby 8 pound Jesus that it does not hit 200....alas, I am the only person there next week in litigation---Joy! The upside to all this work is that firms are very nice in sending offerings to us this time of year. We had a breakfast sent, pounds and pounds of chocolate (the gold Godiva basket has a special place in my heart) and then there is the non sense we will never use but it is a trinket that I hold as a prize. If anyone ever needs a tiny mag light give me a shout, your choice of colors.

Because I had to

Thanksgiving this year was a bit small for my liking. Mom joined the fab hub and I. So why did I make 7 sides? It is no secret I do not like Thanksgiving food. I made roasted asparagus and a broccoli dish that is served cold for this reason, the fab hub demanded my macaroni and cheese, I wanted the best mashed potatoes in the world, mom needed sweet potatoes, mom desired fresh cranberry sauce, who can have thanksgiving without stuffing? So I was a bit busy with that.
I have gotten 3 Christmas tree up so far. We are just about decorated. The cats really like the disco ball garland on the flamingo tree.
I need to go make Chex mix, ya know--because I have not cooked enough.

1st Defense Verdict!!!

I am so freaking happy. I really am.

The Idiot Box.....Truly

I am pissed that Sabrina was voted off or not voted enough to stay on DWTS. It hurts. It really does. I must exhaust all efforts on the race car driver. I hate Mel....she is the Laila Ali of this year to me.
George and Izzy need to break it up. Even the hand holding makes me puke a little bit in my mouth. I broke up with Private Practice...too slow. I still LOVE Kate Walsh and secretly hope Private Practice will be canceled and she will come back to Grey's.
The new evil neighbor in Housewives is killing me. I would throw down with her. Kick the shoes off, earrings out and hair pulled back kind of ass beating. And you know her lemon meringue pie is store bought.
Why is it that Kitty is pregnant? This does not seem like a good story line. Too many messes to clean up already and now this.

But my legs don't have a sore throat

I am pulling an all nighter....college years anyone?
I have had my ass kicked at work. Since I have been at the new place a whopping week it is time for a vacation. We leave in a few hours for a cruise -woot-
Yesterday I had my Mystic tan...no Oompa Loompa effect....tonight I had my toes done. The usual place was closed, as I had worked late. I went to the mall. They used something that had Halls Vapor mints ground into it. My legs felt CRAZY after this. Whatever...the little piggies have I'm not really a waitress red and it looks better than I could do.
On the work front I am bummed I am going to miss one of my trials while I am away. And I have learned mediation is a complete joke. And this mess with binding high low agreements on arbitrations...oh mercy the chain saws I juggle. The juggling monkey will go enjoy the warm waters. Then I will juggle more.....
Oh, I purchased a Nikon point and shoot. I figure since the DSLR is a Canon I would mix it up a bit. I will post some pix sometime upon my return.

A Change of Plan

Sometimes I really do not know where I am headed, but I know where I am going will be better. I have made the decision to change jobs. Whoopie! I will be moving up the ladder kind of....I have accepted a position as a litigation handler of injury claims and bad faith claims. Basically I will be an attorney wrangler. I am so excited. This will be great for many reasons. I have been in the insurance industry for 5 years now and it was time to do more. I thought law school was the "more", then After careful examination of my lifestyle and what it will take (mainly money) I decided it was not a fit. Then I thought CPCU was the route to go. Not to sound lazy....but I am not in this to run an insurance company and the intense studying was not fitting in with my lifestyle. I will get to learn so much in my new role. I am very excited for this! I have been doing the same thing for awhile. New vocabulary words: summary judgement, deposition, mediation, and the one folks will make me pull my hair out with is proper service. Did I mention I will be handling 19 states? Yeah.

Games Galore

I will not tell you how much time I have logged playing this game....too much. I love it. There is skee ball, the coin push game, a dunk booth, toss a coin onto plates and super wonder prizes. I am simply addicted. It is so much fun. The GA State Fair is here next week....I have my practice in....I can't wait.

Guess who moved in next door!?!

Guess who moved in next door!?!
Originally uploaded by ganners.

You remember my wonderful neighbor, right? Yeah, she has been "gardening" more and more. There is now a scare crow that looks across the drive way at us. It is a crow and it is indeed scary she put this nylon piece of crap in the yard with a bamboo piece up it's butt. I also saw what I thought was a 10 Commandments tablet in the yard but after further investigation I found it is a memorial for a dead dog. I hope there is not a dead dog burried there. I am thinking there will be more plastic flowers for Fall "planted" soon. Don't worry, the patrotic bunting is still up over the front door. So fancy. So classy.

Save the Doors!

I have been saving this one for ya. This is an honest 100% true story. Really.
We had some visitors in earlier this summer. They brought their 3 year old child and half of her belongings in a Honda Odyssey mini van. Not just any Honda Odyssey, a fully loaded and apparently one of the owners feels it will actually go up in value. Who am I to know about a $40k mini van?
We went out to dinner one night. There were 7 of us and due to all the stuff still in said mini van we took two cars to dinner. This was while we were going through the total loss and we were still in the rental. The fab hub parked the rental in the first space. There was the curb and yard on one side of the rental and on the other side was a space. We started to walk into the restaurant when the occupants of the Odyssey yelled at the fab hub to move the rental and let them have the space we were in and get the rental on the other side of the mini van. The fab hub then walks back to the rental and moved it. Unbelievable. They advised that the rental does not matter and they need to protect the Odyssey doors. They even advised how their parents will assist in protecting the glorious Odyssey when they go out. I still cannot believe the fab hub moved the car to indulge this unreal behavior.
Yes, really.

Hotter than two rats screwing in a wool sock

Yeah, that's right. It is hot as effing hell here. The humidity and smog does not help. Think I will go have a heat stroke doing yard work.

I should have gotten this a year ago

We picked up a Tassimo yesterday. Instant love! Really, if you enjoy coffee or fancy coffee drinks go get one. The cappuccinos come out under a buck a piece and are heaven. The milk froths so nice. Yummy
Did I mention the best part? No clean up! It is a dream.
Bed Bath and Beyond will match any brick and mortar store. My plan was: Get 20% off coupon in the mail from BB&B, find a store that has it lower priced (Target in my case, I believe Wally World too), ask BB&B to match said price, use my coupon, get the $30 mail in rebate sent in, get the machine registered to get 2 packs of coffee disks free....yeah, my cheap ass got the $170 coffee maker for under $100. Makes me smile just thinking about it....

SmurFJ II

We grudgingly took delivery last night of our second 2007 Toyota FJ. It is exactly the same as the one we had....but it has a passenger side arm rest added. I have nothing nice to say about Marietta Toyota. Once I am able to put words together other than "Eff them" I will tell you more. It pissed me off to give them one penny, let alone close to $30k. The Smurf is good. The fab hub and I no longer have to carpool. Hopefully this one will not be cursed.....

Ganners: 1 Travelers: 0

I won! Heh.
The difference between the first offer of ACV and what we settled for was close to $5k. Bitch got paid. Should you need help with total loss actual cash value I can give you some pointers. Doesn't hurt being in the business.
Bottom line: There is no reason to be screwed.

FJ + Total Loss = Groundhog

I will be laying on a shrinks couch if this keeps up. I have a huge amount of anxiety about getting the FJ total loss settled. It is making me crazy. Really. My mind continues to go back to it. The rental is has to be turned in tomorrow and we cannot reach settlement so I do not have a check to use for a down payment. So since I have all of this anxiety I cannot sleep. I am getting about 3-4 hours a night. I even had a beer and a ground hog pill last night. I am turning into a zombie again. I need some sleep. I am stressed out.

Just Not Natural

I met the best colorist in the world at Van Michael Sandy Springs, New Talents salon 7 years ago when she just started to learn color at Van Michael and charged $75 for hi lites and base color. I love her. She is a true artist. Aimee France I am talking about you. She got promotion after promotion and even started teaching at the Van Michael school. Then they opened a salon in Norcross about 2 years ago. I made the long haul once. Norcross and Alpharetta are like the New Jersey of Atlanta. Then I went outside the salon thinking that keeping my business local would be a good idea. Worst hair idea ever. EVER. I have seen 4 people since and one other outside of Van Michael. It just is not the same. I think I will have to drive to Jersey for my hair. And of course now I can hardly afford her, but Aimee is worth every single penny plus a 20% tip.
I am seeing someone at Van Michael now that I like. There is not love. She is a really cool person. Last time I went in I told her how much I loved the last color we did. I asked to do the same thing. Yeah, she matched my color faded hair which is just about my natural color and put in some honey hi lights. Eek. I hate my natural color. I hate honey blond, mousy brown, dishwater brown and any other ash type brown. I worked with it for a few weeks. I went to Target today. I bought a semi permanent color. HOLY CRAP MY HAIR COLOR KICKS ASS. I was scared. I had not colored my hair since college. I really like the color. I may just have to try it again when this fades out and save the money to go see Aimee.

Travelers asked me to dance

Travelers wants to fight me over the total loss value of the FJ.
Really? huh.....

O.C.G.A. § 33-4-7

Yeah, I sent a love letter today......

Semi vs. FJ

Semi vs. FJ
Originally uploaded by ganners.

On Thursday we said goodbye to the cursed SmurFJ. My friend was driving on I-75 and was hit by a tractor trailor. She is okay. I got some hook up throught the police department and we have filed the claim with Travelers. Did I mention I have in laws in town this week? Yeah, so I had to rent an SUV and all ERAC had was a Durango. I feel like a bus driver. So with in laws in tow we will be car shopping this lovely 4th of July. I personally will not set foot on a car lot unless there is an inflatable eagle or Uncle Sam involved.

Groundhog + Groundhog = Me

When I got my groundhog pills the other day I got several sample packs from my doctor's office. In my clear mind, I thought combining the samples and the big bottle would be a good idea to combine everything and have less mess. Since it was late in the evening I took a pill since I knew I would be going to bed soon. Then I was ready to go to bed and in my fog I could not remember if I had taken a pill. I counted what was in the big bottle....then could not count them correctly and get the same number twice. So I took another one thinking I had not taken one. Then I slept through most of Saturday. I still love the groundhog.

Conversations with Groundhogs

It has been awful. I have been sleeping about 4 hours a night. If I am lucky I get 6 hours. I have tried sleep advise and herbal crap....it was time to go to the doctor. My doctor is really cool--she believes in alternative medicine and conventional. I told her how worn down I am and that I cannot stay asleep once I finally fall asleep. I was given a hand out. I told her this has been going on a month or so and I REALLY need some sleep. Apparently my sleep clock needs to be reset and I was given Rozerem to do the trick. I am sure you have seen the commercials with Abe Lincoln and the groundhog. I was wanting Lunesta to have a visit from the sleep butterfly, but I will take what I can get. It has been 3 nights now. I am progressively sleeping more, but still waking up every few hours and not falling asleep for at least an hour when I try. I love the groundhog.

Because 9 was not enough

I have had 9 ear piercings forever. 5 in the right ear and 4 in the left. When I was in high school a kid at the lunch table use to pierce my ears. I did one myself with a needle (I do not recommend). Since I just had a birthday I am still in denial about I felt the need to feel a little more counter culture or punk....so now I have 5 in each ear and for the 1st time in a long time I have earrings in all the holes. Did I mention I wore a Hello Kitty shirt to work today? Well, I did.

Theft by Taking

DSW is having a mother of a sale. Stop reading this and get your ass over there.
I love DSW for several reasons:
1. They have my favorite brands: Kenzie, BCBG, Jessica Simpson, Guess, Rocket Dog and many more.
2. The sale section is larger than most shoe stores.
3. The prices are unreal. Example: Tonight I scored a pair of Jessica Simpsons that are super soft leather with acrylic leopard heels for $18 that were just marked down 70% from $60. I think crappy shoes at Payless are more than that. I also picked up a killer kitten heel pair of shoes from Charles David for $21.
4. They play good music. One time I was in there and actually turned my iPod off.
Really, they just marked a crap load of shoes down. If you need shoes, want shoes, wear shoes or dream about shoes you need to go. I may make another trip without the fab hub cause, well you know....sometimes shoes just find their way into the house.

Are you talking to me?

I love my convertible this time of year. When I leave work and drop the top and turn on the radio I am instantly removed from my work day.
Today I was driving home with the top down listening to the radio when an old Nirvana song came on. I love the song and was singing along. Then a guy looked over at me. Yeah, I was singing Rape Me. It's still a great song.
Whatever.

What I am

What I am thinking: I have shit in my own barn. Sometimes it really stinks. Still not sure if I meant to do it. I may have a mess to clean up.
What I am listening to: Anything from 30 Seconds to Mars or Muse
What I am reading: Endless demands. Cruise searching.
What I am watching: I am in withdrawal from Grey's Anatomy & Desperate Housewives. I have a new summertime addiction: Criss Angel
What is up at work: Case load of 140+ currently has me stressed out. I need to get my junk together for CPCU.
What I think about season finales: Edie can hang. George better be back. Can't wait to see Kitty's wedding.
What I am worried about: The opportunities that may come. Falls under the "be careful what you wish for" school of thought.
What I looking forward to: Girl's weekend, drinks, the beach, Steve & Barry's
What I am dreaming about: Metamorphosis
What I am eating: Anything from J. Christopher's
What I am in denial about: My birthday last week.
What I am sick of: The smoke from South GA smoothering the city. It is 200 miles away and you would think there was a fire in your yard when you walk outside. Yuck.

DWTS Oh Yeah!

So happy for my Apollo! He won the super cool mirror ball trophy. At least with Dancing with the Stars my votes count! I wish he were on the tour.....and for that matter I wish it was coming to Atlanta.

Ha ha ha Leila. I may have enjoyed her getting kicked off too much.

Hooks, Spatulas, and Squeegies

Friday was brought to you 100% by Xanex.....

January 2005 I had my first laser eye surgery. It was time for the enhancement on my left eye. My vision was so crappy it could not be done in one shot. I was freaked out for the 1st procedure and the second did not really bring warm fuzzies either. I planned ahead and had my one lonely pill of Xanex. The fab hub took me to the laser center early Friday morning. We were going through the pre op stuff...measuring, comparing and all the good stuff when you correct vision. The first time they "create a flap", aka: cut the top micron layer of your eye to reveal the orange peel layer below. This is freaky. Did I mention you can see when the top layer is off? It is like opening your eyes underwater.
The second time you have laser eye surgery they lift the original flap. This is where it got freaky. The surgeon "marks" the flap edges. When I think of marking things I think of a Sharpie Marker. When a surgeon marks a flap he uses a needle on a handle. CRAP!
I had not had the magic pill yet and he was coming at me like a spider monkey. I asked for 30 minutes to let the magic pill work.
He came back and "marked" the flap. It was more like scoring my eye. Now it was time to go back and visit my friend the laser. I had a patch on my right eye, Yarr! Next it was time to fully lift the flap. The spider monkey came at me with the little hook instruments that are similar to what the dentist uses to scrape your plaque. I see the two hooks fighting to lift the flap. I see them enting my vision from the right, the top, the left, all over moving across my vision to lift the flap. Then a spatula came and lifted the flap to the side. It was finally up and the familiar underwater vision was back. Then there was some laser action. I smelled the yummy burning. The flap was placed back into position. Then there were squeegies smoothing the flap and getting it into good position. It was like two little window washers working quickly. Finally I was done. See ya later!
Next day I was able to read half of the 20/20 line with my left eye only!! Woot! My goal was street signs.
This is the freakiest thing. You see it all. Totally worth it....just bring you Xanex.

Pair-Rhree

Paris, I am sorry---but you really screwed the pooch.
Drinking and driving never ends up well. I think we have all done it, but we all regret it. We call it lucky. Paris is looking at forty five days in the clink. Not to bad considering.....
She will be on cupcake duty. I love Paris, really, more than Brittany. My girl did wrong.....I still love her. Don't hate.

Community Service

So I owed a close friend a favor. Or more so, the fab hub was the one in debit.
DP was so kind as to lend his skill and know how to make it possible for us to have a HUGE party deck for last 4th of July party. A ton of sweat and tears went into this. We have a huge 700 sq ft deck. It is beautiful. It was our turn.....
I helped plan and execute a rocking hillside garden. There was nothing but weeds and scrub bushes and some stupid cypress trees. I picked out some butterfly bushes for the top, Shasta daisies and a yellow clumping daisy called Jethro Tull and lantana that is very hardy for freezing temps to fill in and make a pretty garden for humming birds and butterflies that will be drought friendly and low maintenance to come back every year and look great. It was damn near 90 degrees and this hillside garden made me feel like a mountain goat. MMMAaaaaah......I think I got off easy given the trade.

So I have been busy.....

End of day 1: Monkey Bathroom
Originally uploaded by ganners.

Yeah, April has come and gone all too quickly. We started ripping out our bathroom 2 weeks ago. As you see we took it all out. The neighbors loved the dumpster in the driveway. The fab hub is working on the joint compound tonight. I believe the tile will be finished on Wednesday. I hope next weekend it is all done. This is the main bathroom we us and we have been stuck using a claw foot tub for the past two weeks. Looking forward to an "After Picture".

Devine Dessert

We had dinner with friends at Aqua Blue last night and it was dang good. The dessert was out of control. We got a creme brulee and a bread pudding. I recommend this pair anywhere. Simply take your fork full of bread pudding and give it a dip in the creme brulee. I am happy just thinking about it.

Postcard from the edge (of the couch)

Dear Clyde,
You make a world class dancer look bad. You walk like a zombie on the dance floor. I need you to have your family stop calling in. Really, it is just silly. I hope the red light shines on you soon.

Dear Laila,
You should lead. Laser hair removal is really not that expensive. Stop with the manly voice.

Dear Billy Ray,
You have won me over. You will not win, but I can think of you and not think of a certain country song.

Dear Apollo,
You must win. I hurt my fingers voting for you. I should have a pool boy opening soon. Meow!

Defiling Easter

I love Easter. I love peeps, and hollow bunnies to eat the ears off then fill with water (don't ask me why, I just do), Easter grass stuck in places all over the house for months to come, and the only peanut butter I will eat: the Reece's Egg. I would kill for a good egg hunt but that has not happened for years......

The adult novelty shop Tantra has a sign that says, "Our rabbits and eggs take batteries". Must you mess with Easter? Now that is just nasty.....none of that in my basket. Easter is not a filthy holiday.....go have filthy at Christmas or Valentine's....not Easter. Nothing is sacred.

.......and it was all yellow.

Pollen sucks. It really sucks. You would have to use a shovel to get all the yellow shit out of the sidewalk gutters in front of our house. The city has a yellow haze. It has been over 5000 for the pollen count everyday. A high count is over 125. It has not rained in 2 weeks. The shit just blows around. It is so freaking gross. We need rain. The city needs a good wash. I am so sick of the yellow dirt. My eyes hurt. I think there is a pine tree stuck in my nose. You can see it blow of cars as they leave stop lights. Every car looks like crap. When it rains it will look like a yellow river. Gross.

Tacky......Really Tacky......

The neighbor has "grown" more garden. There are hanging baskets with fake flowers running over and new crap in pots that will never need to be watered, just keep an eye on the sun bleaching. The back porch has never looked better with such a nice array of fake plants. Really, somebody needs to have a talk with her. I think an anonymous letter may be dropped in the mail. Horrid....horrid fake plants are multiplying. Not sure if they put out plastic pollen....

Save Yourself

I thought I had already met all the people in life I cannot stand to be around. I was wrong: The House Guest.
First I have to admit I did approve this guest's visit. However, if I had know then what I know now.....
HG came in on Thursday, this happens to be the day I found out Bellini was not dealing with an allergy and we would need to schedule her with another specialist for a closer look. I was so bummed and scared I just turned inward. HG came in and the fab hub took him to dinner. He could not understand why I was down. The next day HG had an interview that took up much of his morning and afternoon. My girlfriend was over to help decorate for the fab hub's party that was coming up on Saturday. Her son was over (he is the 1st lil' kid that rocks! he really is cool!) and he is pretty mellow with everyone. He has the 6th sense and knew HG was bad news....he stayed away. Jen and I were doing things around the house and getting ready for pirate festivities when: HG strolls around the house in long boxers with a bluetooth headset on talking as loudly as he can so we all know just how important he is. Jeff is lucky and at work. Finally Jen and I had enough. We went shopping. We split up and I went and had my hair done.
I came home and it was time for dinner. We went to a place we really like with great Greek food. HG is now a Greek food authority and points out each and every problem with each and everything. He then wants to talk about how the fruits and vegetable in Atlanta are horrible. I am texting a friend with my suicidal thoughts. Now he is the authority on cars and knows everything and is giving advise on engines and transmissions. I drink myself into not caring and say nothing until I am at home in my bedroom with the door shut. I told the fab hub about my homicidal thoughts.
Next morning I wake up and start preparing and assembling party food. I was making several things on sticks for the pirate theme that were very labor intensive. I am getting the house in order and getting the last of the decorations up, planning where the drink stations will go, setting up the bar.....busy-very busy. HG crawls his lazy ass out of bed around 11:30. Wanders around in his boxers and continues his loud talking just where he had left off. The fab hub is helping me get things done. HG whines for lunch. I needed the fab hub around to help me so them going to lunch was not an option. I tell him there is meat and cheese for sandwiches. HG does not know how to make an effing sandwich. I look in the freezer, "How about fish sticks?", the fab hub is on board and I preheat the oven and get he sticks laid out to cook. HG is not in the mood for fish sticks. I name off a few more things I have on hand. Ikea meatballs. Then he whines about what type of sauce and goes through all the sauces he has had on meatballs and how each of them is not a true authentic sauce. I think the fab hub gave him some cranberry mustard to shut him up. HG does nothing to help. I have to ask him to make his bed and put on real clothing.
Finally party time! I have to send the fab hub to rescue people from the clutches of HG and his know everything about everything conversation. HG drank a good bit. He goes to bed with the last of the hurricane grog and says to me, "You can wake me up when yo fix breakfast." I stayed up another hour putting things away and cleaning up a bit. I got to bed around 2:30.
Next morning the fab hub and I are up and our other friend stayed as well, a nice normal house guest, we decided it was time for breakfast. Yeah,we let HG sleep and went to breakfast without him. We get home and HG is up and whiny he needs breakfast. Jeff points out there is some bacon in the fridge and some eggs he can fix for himself. Yeah, the incompetent know it all HG does not know how to cook eggs either. I had enough already. The fab hub had to cook for him. This is the glorious day HG will leave. I thought he would pack his crap and go after breakfast like a normal guest......oh, no, not HG. He goes back to bed for a nap. 4 hours later comes out still in his boxers. He wants to talk and enjoy himself some more. 2 hours later he leaves. I am no longer held captive in my house.
A few days later HG called telling us he would in town for something. I told the fab hub if HG even gets near me again they will both die.

Pirate Party!!

All Hands on Deck!!!
Originally uploaded by ganners.

The fab hub turned 30! Yay!
I threw him a kick ass pirate party. We had a great time and a ton of friends came out. Check out other photos for more pirate fun. I made different foods on a stick and the biggest antipasti platter you have ever seen, hurricane drinks and brew was all over the place. Woot!

The Worst Two Weeks Ever

I know you think I am a lazy slack ass and do not care about you any more. My world has been turned upside down. What I knew as my happy normal came crashing down. I will get you guys an update and try and fill you in. On Monday, March 12 we took Bellini in for her breathing issue. I thought it was a pollen allergy. Surprise! It was a polyp growing from her ear canal to her pharynx. Horror! It had to come out and it had to be tested for the "c word". We left her for the surgery where the vet went in with a scope and no incision was made when he pulled the polyp off the stalk for removal. I went to pick her up and she was still VERY groggy from the anesthesia. So groggy and crank she would not go into the carrier. I kept her in my arms at the vet's office for over an hour. Finally I called the fab hub and he picked us up as she slept in my arms the entire ride home. She would wake up every 45 minutes or so and fight me for a minute and the go back to sleep. This went on until at least midnight. She slept in my arm all night. She made no effort to walk or anything for the next day. We took her back to the vet. The vet believes she had a anesthesia stroke event. You could sweep the pieces of my heart off the floor. We were hand feeding her baby food 3 times a day and having to give her fluids to her back with a drip bag and needle. It made a water hump like a camel. She would walk a little bit. She could not see. She could not hear.
It has been almost two weeks now. She is walking and trotting around. She is eating on her own. She started drinking for the first time yesterday. She made her first crawl up on to the couch. She still is not seeing well. When the vet pulled out the polyp one of her facial nerves was pulled a bit and her 3rd eyelid is still showing and the pupil in that eye is slower to react to light. She looks a little off. Like a naked Helen Keller or a lost Roomba bumping into things.
She is purring and making a little meow sound. I just hope for a full recovery. Two weeks is a long time to wait. Watching her slowly get better is great, but it really is taking too long. All my efforts and time have gone into Bellini---I am sure you understand.

Eh, So it Was a Mistake

We have all made mistakes. Some small, some large. Some cost nothing, some cost millions, some cost lives. Some mistakes you can never take back no matter how hard you try. Some mistakes stay secret. Then there are our friends the Swiss. They really need to stick to punching holes in aged cheese. This is so damn funny to me. This is the only news I have seen since Anna Nicole died. I believe she is still dead and so dead they finally got her rotting body in the ground. If James Brown could only be so lucky........

Then I'm So Strung Out.....

Wendy's is using "Blister in the Sun" as a song in a current commercial for a new cheese burger. I love the Violent Femmes. I loved them 15 years ago when they were only 15 years old....yeah, they have been around for a decade or three. I hear the commercial and I want to start singing. Then a get pissed because it is a fast food commercial. Internal conflict. I like the Wendy's raccoons, but they have gone too far with the Femmes. "American Music" was my favorite anyways....When I'm walking I start my stuff.....just does not say buy a burger to me.
The vegetarian will not be buying any fast food....even if the Femmes are involved.

Be Thankful

Last week I thought I was going to hurl when Wife Swap featured a family that lived on a raw diet including raw chicken meat, aged raw beef, raw eggs and other disgusting habits. The family brushed their teeth with a butter and clay mixture. All shades of nasty.
This week features a family that bottles and sells deer urine and buys all clothing at a second hand store.
Where do they find these people? Eek.

I Dance for Choxie

I picked up a big box of mixed truffles from Target during the 75% off Christmas blow out. I saved them for Valentine's day. I have had 6 so far. SWEET LAWD, they are pure Heaven. I savor each one. So far my favorite is the gingerbread dark chocolate. They are all so beautifully crafted. I dance when I eat each one. I just get so happy. Oh, so happy.
I highly recommend these little pieces of heaven. The lemon mint dark chocolate is amazing. The texture, the taste, the presentation.....how magical! I still have several flavors left to explore. Choxie knows what hey are doing with chocolate--don't be scared.

I Named my Newest Grey Hair Thurman

This will really make me pull my hair out. I see my case load / inventory increasing. Errrr....in my opinion it really is crap. There should be no stack when the UIM policy has minimum limits. I can agree with the UIM exposure when the tort feasor has a CSL and property damage causes a decrease in recovery. I see arguing "made whole" occurring more and more with liens. Thurman v. State Farm: I despise you.

My Baby Daddy

So gold digging Anna Nicole Smith bought a piece of the harp farm this week. Scandal is everywhere: Did her old sugar daddy's family have her bumped off? Did she overdose on Trim Spa? Did she mix pills?
Anna had her interesting points: Playboy bunny, married and 89 year old tycoon who died less than a year later leaving her millions, TrimSpa, bad reality TV, Guess and other fabulous endeavors.
You know, it really is like Fear Factor when you marry an old dusty billionaire: If you can play the game and not puke you get to keep the money.
So Anna got to keep money after fighting it out in court with her step son that was over 20 years her senior. He is dead too.
So who gets the money that Anna got? Her baby daddy. But who is the baby daddy? 5 men have come forward so far claiming Anna's daughter. All these baby daddies and not enough babies. Anna got around. So who is the gold digging whore now? That's right, all the baby daddies want to lay stake to the prior sugar daddy's money. That is the million dollar baby.

Got Paid

The Super Bowl means office football pool. I set it up and almost all the squares were sold and I bought the last 3. We drew the numbers and the board was locked. I know nothing about football. We Tivo'd the game and watched the commercials and fast forwarded through the game. When I went into work this morning I found out I won $75. Woot!
The crab commercial rocked!

Pretty, Pretty Please with Sugar and a Cherry on Top??

OMG! I need this. Remember I have a birthday coming up. I beg you. Pretty, pretty please. I will be mostly nice for a long time. This is a must have accessory. Swoon.....

The Look of Fear

eyes
Originally uploaded by ganners.

There are very few things that I am afraid of. I am pretty well the kind of girl that will take the bull by the horns. I have 1 primal fear. I mean seriously, I am terrified on needles. So scared I do not have blood drawn under any circumstance and there will be no shots of anything in my life unless it is tequila served neat.
What brought this on is one evil phlebotomist. She jabbed into a vein-it blew. She jabbed again-miss. Another time-blew and collapsed. I had finally had enough sticks and was ready to go. She thought she could get it the last time.....black blood spewed from my veins and I swear the needle made the sound nails make on a chalkboard on my bone. Bad experience. I have not been able to let it go.
Two years ago I had Lasik eye surgery. I went in to have the procedure done. I had always worn glasses as my vision was so off the charts bad I could not wear contacts. I had worn glasses since I was 6. This was when glasses were not cool. I hated them. When the laser eye surgeries became available I was not a candidate. My eyes were so bad they were deemed as a risk and not correctable. Two years ago it all changed. I went in to have it done. I left in tears. I was too scared to have it done. I was so excited, but defeated my my fears. You see, when the procedure is done the doctor makes a "flap" (cuts the top of your eye off), peels it back, lasers your cornea and places the flap back in place. YOU CAN SEE THE ENTIRE TIME. So you have you flap peeled back and you can smell the cornea burning from the laser and you are looking at this while it is happening to your very eye. Scary. Too scary for me. They gave me a Valium....no effect....second Valium and chewed up this time.....nothing, I was straight as an arrow. I could not get it done on the first try.
Let me introduce you to my little friend Xanax. Yeah, no problems and smooth sailing. Cut my eye up and laser it please. I had to wear soup strainers for a week but it was all good.

The bad news: My vision is so crappy that I will need to have a 2nd procedure on the left eye. It should get me to 20/25 which is pretty darn good since I was borderline blind in the left eye.
I will need more Xanax. Since my nice doctor packed up and moved I will have to explain this to my new HMO doctor I have never met. That should be interesting.
Today I had the first step in finding out my vision has stabilized and I am now ready to go again. So here is the horrid picture I took of my dilated self. I chose dinner tonight by which place can we eat that is the darkest.
I hope this is all over within the next two months.

17 MPH

25 miles took me an hour and a half. I do not know how commuters do it. I would eat razor blades for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had to drop my car at the dealership for the horn issue and the disco stereo issue. They are in Roswell up 400. I have nothing nice to say about 400. The new lane that was just opened does nothing. Did I mention this was at 4 in the afternoon?? 400 is evil.
To get my stereo to go loco like it does for me and never for the dealer I was blasting a new Korn song called Transistor. I was shaking when I got out of the car at the dealer. Between the music and traffic and 400 in general I was one step away from a Xanax.
On a more pleasant note I got a new TT as my loaner. Sweet! Made sitting in traffic slightly nicer for my ride home.

Pure Genius

I will share a damn good drink with you. So simple you should be ashamed if you do not make it.

Dark Chocolate Mocha Martini

.5 ounce Kahlua
1.25 ounces superior vodka (Chopan is my choice)
4 ounces Godiva Dark Chocolate Mocha beverage (use a Crapachino if you must)

Pour over ice, shake, strain into a sassy martini glass and enjoy.

You will not need a chocolate drizzle, as there is so much chocolate in the Godiva you will have to shake it to get a good mix. Garnish with a cocoa dusting if you must.

Thank me later

We got a Wii, or Two

It finally happened. The world must be coming to an end. The fab hub had a good day in a Tram-Law (wal-mart). We called around 11 in the morning and they had 3 Wii left. About 20 minutes prior I had chugged some night time cold medicine that was beginning to knock me out. Being a good wife I get up and drive our asses to the Retnec Repus Tram-Law since he is still priming the engine in the SmurFJ and the TT is just made to be fast. We get in there and they still have the Wii. We bought one. Then called a friend.....yeah, we went back and got him one too. They tried to pull the "1 per customer" crap. I then pointed out that the fab hub and I are two different people. I am excited.....yippy skippy!

With Love, Jon & Andrea

We live in a city just North of Atlanta. We are in a wonderful historic neighborhood. Our home was built in the 1890's. We share a driveway with our neighbor. The house has been vacant more than it has been occupied since we moved in almost 4 years ago. Our newest neighbor is a lease purchaser. I have been a very patient person. I have been wanting to tell you about her Innter Net, but I did not want to act prematurely. So let me pry my hands off of my lips.....
This new neighbor is a mess. A huge mess. Please Innter Net, tell me if I am wrong.
She moved in the first week of January. The fab hub helped her install a mailbox. This was our second time meeting them. This was the time that the fab hub's name was solidified: Jon (pronounced Jawn). No, that is not his name.
She came over again to borrow the drill. Jon advised of his correct name and showed her how to use the drill. She has been doing all kinds of home improvement over there. My personal favorite are the fake flowers "planted" in the front yard. I know the weather is all crazy and warm, but nothing says Winter like having a full blooming yard of silk flowers. She put a milk can on the front porch. Charming! Then there are the Mother In-Laws Tongue she planted outside. This is an indoor plant. It currently has a bag over it to protect it from tonight's frost. The yard is a train wreck which I believe will only get worse.
This neighbor of mine is probably in her mid 60s and is the poster child of bad plastic surgery. Really, do not go save a buck in Mexico. Her lips are like wet bags plastered on her face. She needs to get more collagen injected in there asap. She looks like a New Yorker that retired to Florida, but decided to work again and move to Atlanta.
Her daughter lives there too. She is probably in her early 30s and is mentally handicap. She hugs the fab hub when he comes home. I may need to worry about "the other woman". She has already shown him her new room.
They were parking the car directly behind the SmurFJ for a while. That finally stopped. Then there was the mammoth pile of trash in the driveway for two weeks. It should be an interesting year. Did I mention she claims to be an interior designer??

She Swallowed a Spider to Catch the Fly......

I feel like I'll die....
It all started on Friday. I threw my vitamins in my coat pocket to take once I got to work and had something to drink. I remembered that I needed to take them as I was doing a few things at once and swiped them out of my pocket and threw them in my mouth. Down the hatch.
I was grabbing for my glass to have a wash down of water when, "Oh, CRAP! I just swallowed a screw!".
Yeah, a screw.
I have a Prada key chain that had lost a screw and I kept it in my pocket to put it back together. That would be the same pocket I threw the vitamins in. I tried to gag. It did not work. Nothing really painful resulted other than feeling like a ate a tortilla chip made out of glass and steel.
Tonight I was taking a hand full of pills and I got a reminder about Friday. It hurts. I hope the screw is gone....I have no conclusive evidence.

Not One, but Two!!

I was all giddy and happy and such when Obama announced.
I was almost crying with happiness when Hillary announced.
I know many of you hate them.....but I am making my order for bronze statues this weekend. I wonder who will steal the sign from my yard next year? I bet I get a bulk discount, so no worries. Happy days are ahead!
On another note:
In Georigia we still cannot buy beer, wine or alcohol on Sunday. Blue laws crap that have never been challenged. This year it has been brought to the floor. Our red neck governor Sonny has stated it will not get his vote to pass. Even more backwoods is that there are dry counties, ie no alcohol any time or any day. Why? Simply because the good Lord don't like it much here in the South and the Bible is the only book you need, y'all. Teaches you time management. I had to plan ahead last night and make a stop for my Sunday sauce.......

Saturday

Since it feels like Spring time here in Atlanta (please see An Inconvenient Truth), I decided to start some Spring cleaning. I went through two closets and I have even listed some stuff in craigslist.org. Then the phone rang....

"We're here!"

"Where?"

"In the airport. Come have lunch."

Yay! I got to see my ex-step mom. I adore her and do not get to see her enough. She lives in Connecticut and was headed to Daytona with a lay over in Atlanta.

That was the best surprise since getting a cotton candy machine

I heart Vanna

I am so pleased about this. I once had Kitt (fabulous hair cutter at Van Michael Sandy Springs) watch Wheel just to see Vanna's oh-so-perfect layers and flip so I too could have her hair.
So happy for this.

La La La La La La

The end of the year is car shopping time and the fab hub and I have done just that. It was time for the Acura to go. After having a few conversations about bio diesel and Elements the fab hub decided on a Toyota FJ. I called dealers from North Atlanta to Savannah working numbers. I found my object of desire at World Toyota on Peachtree Industrial. We went and I was the good little wife. Sat in the back during the test drive and just smiled and nodded as we went over the vehicle. Then after two hours it was time. We went back into the little room. I reviewed the numbers, advised the deal will not work and this is what I need to make it happen. The finance guy tried to tell me he was on my side and this was it. Lying bastard. I waited for 2 hours to get to him. Damn straight I will get what I want.
You see, I am the Type A. I also am the car person of the family. I also happen to negotiate all day about money with attorneys.
The finance guy had left the room to go get the deal worked and the fab hub and I had a conversation:

Me: See, there is a little piranha that lives in my heart.
FH: So that is what is in there?
Me: She just comes out when needed.....

Thanks babe. We got the deal done and took delivery of a beautiful new 2007 FJ. It is blue and as you know has a white top. It looks like a Smurf. I call it "SmurFJ". I really think it would be a clever tag.
Even better to try out the new sound system the fab hub requested my Justin Timberlake CD. Oh, how nice it was blasting JT in the SmurFJ.....