With Love, Jon & Andrea

We live in a city just North of Atlanta. We are in a wonderful historic neighborhood. Our home was built in the 1890's. We share a driveway with our neighbor. The house has been vacant more than it has been occupied since we moved in almost 4 years ago. Our newest neighbor is a lease purchaser. I have been a very patient person. I have been wanting to tell you about her Innter Net, but I did not want to act prematurely. So let me pry my hands off of my lips.....
This new neighbor is a mess. A huge mess. Please Innter Net, tell me if I am wrong.
She moved in the first week of January. The fab hub helped her install a mailbox. This was our second time meeting them. This was the time that the fab hub's name was solidified: Jon (pronounced Jawn). No, that is not his name.
She came over again to borrow the drill. Jon advised of his correct name and showed her how to use the drill. She has been doing all kinds of home improvement over there. My personal favorite are the fake flowers "planted" in the front yard. I know the weather is all crazy and warm, but nothing says Winter like having a full blooming yard of silk flowers. She put a milk can on the front porch. Charming! Then there are the Mother In-Laws Tongue she planted outside. This is an indoor plant. It currently has a bag over it to protect it from tonight's frost. The yard is a train wreck which I believe will only get worse.
This neighbor of mine is probably in her mid 60s and is the poster child of bad plastic surgery. Really, do not go save a buck in Mexico. Her lips are like wet bags plastered on her face. She needs to get more collagen injected in there asap. She looks like a New Yorker that retired to Florida, but decided to work again and move to Atlanta.
Her daughter lives there too. She is probably in her early 30s and is mentally handicap. She hugs the fab hub when he comes home. I may need to worry about "the other woman". She has already shown him her new room.
They were parking the car directly behind the SmurFJ for a while. That finally stopped. Then there was the mammoth pile of trash in the driveway for two weeks. It should be an interesting year. Did I mention she claims to be an interior designer??