Friday, March 30, 2007

.......and it was all yellow.

Pollen sucks. It really sucks. You would have to use a shovel to get all the yellow shit out of the sidewalk gutters in front of our house. The city has a yellow haze. It has been over 5000 for the pollen count everyday. A high count is over 125. It has not rained in 2 weeks. The shit just blows around. It is so freaking gross. We need rain. The city needs a good wash. I am so sick of the yellow dirt. My eyes hurt. I think there is a pine tree stuck in my nose. You can see it blow of cars as they leave stop lights. Every car looks like crap. When it rains it will look like a yellow river. Gross.

Tacky......Really Tacky......

The neighbor has "grown" more garden. There are hanging baskets with fake flowers running over and new crap in pots that will never need to be watered, just keep an eye on the sun bleaching. The back porch has never looked better with such a nice array of fake plants. Really, somebody needs to have a talk with her. I think an anonymous letter may be dropped in the mail. Horrid....horrid fake plants are multiplying. Not sure if they put out plastic pollen....

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Save Yourself

I thought I had already met all the people in life I cannot stand to be around. I was wrong: The House Guest.
First I have to admit I did approve this guest's visit. However, if I had know then what I know now.....
HG came in on Thursday, this happens to be the day I found out Bellini was not dealing with an allergy and we would need to schedule her with another specialist for a closer look. I was so bummed and scared I just turned inward. HG came in and the fab hub took him to dinner. He could not understand why I was down. The next day HG had an interview that took up much of his morning and afternoon. My girlfriend was over to help decorate for the fab hub's party that was coming up on Saturday. Her son was over (he is the 1st lil' kid that rocks! he really is cool!) and he is pretty mellow with everyone. He has the 6th sense and knew HG was bad news....he stayed away. Jen and I were doing things around the house and getting ready for pirate festivities when: HG strolls around the house in long boxers with a bluetooth headset on talking as loudly as he can so we all know just how important he is. Jeff is lucky and at work. Finally Jen and I had enough. We went shopping. We split up and I went and had my hair done.
I came home and it was time for dinner. We went to a place we really like with great Greek food. HG is now a Greek food authority and points out each and every problem with each and everything. He then wants to talk about how the fruits and vegetable in Atlanta are horrible. I am texting a friend with my suicidal thoughts. Now he is the authority on cars and knows everything and is giving advise on engines and transmissions. I drink myself into not caring and say nothing until I am at home in my bedroom with the door shut. I told the fab hub about my homicidal thoughts.
Next morning I wake up and start preparing and assembling party food. I was making several things on sticks for the pirate theme that were very labor intensive. I am getting the house in order and getting the last of the decorations up, planning where the drink stations will go, setting up the bar.....busy-very busy. HG crawls his lazy ass out of bed around 11:30. Wanders around in his boxers and continues his loud talking just where he had left off. The fab hub is helping me get things done. HG whines for lunch. I needed the fab hub around to help me so them going to lunch was not an option. I tell him there is meat and cheese for sandwiches. HG does not know how to make an effing sandwich. I look in the freezer, "How about fish sticks?", the fab hub is on board and I preheat the oven and get he sticks laid out to cook. HG is not in the mood for fish sticks. I name off a few more things I have on hand. Ikea meatballs. Then he whines about what type of sauce and goes through all the sauces he has had on meatballs and how each of them is not a true authentic sauce. I think the fab hub gave him some cranberry mustard to shut him up. HG does nothing to help. I have to ask him to make his bed and put on real clothing.
Finally party time! I have to send the fab hub to rescue people from the clutches of HG and his know everything about everything conversation. HG drank a good bit. He goes to bed with the last of the hurricane grog and says to me, "You can wake me up when yo fix breakfast." I stayed up another hour putting things away and cleaning up a bit. I got to bed around 2:30.
Next morning the fab hub and I are up and our other friend stayed as well, a nice normal house guest, we decided it was time for breakfast. Yeah,we let HG sleep and went to breakfast without him. We get home and HG is up and whiny he needs breakfast. Jeff points out there is some bacon in the fridge and some eggs he can fix for himself. Yeah, the incompetent know it all HG does not know how to cook eggs either. I had enough already. The fab hub had to cook for him. This is the glorious day HG will leave. I thought he would pack his crap and go after breakfast like a normal guest......oh, no, not HG. He goes back to bed for a nap. 4 hours later comes out still in his boxers. He wants to talk and enjoy himself some more. 2 hours later he leaves. I am no longer held captive in my house.
A few days later HG called telling us he would in town for something. I told the fab hub if HG even gets near me again they will both die.

Pirate Party!!


All Hands on Deck!!!
Originally uploaded by ganners.

The fab hub turned 30! Yay!
I threw him a kick ass pirate party. We had a great time and a ton of friends came out. Check out other photos for more pirate fun. I made different foods on a stick and the biggest antipasti platter you have ever seen, hurricane drinks and brew was all over the place. Woot!

The Worst Two Weeks Ever

I know you think I am a lazy slack ass and do not care about you any more. My world has been turned upside down. What I knew as my happy normal came crashing down. I will get you guys an update and try and fill you in. On Monday, March 12 we took Bellini in for her breathing issue. I thought it was a pollen allergy. Surprise! It was a polyp growing from her ear canal to her pharynx. Horror! It had to come out and it had to be tested for the "c word". We left her for the surgery where the vet went in with a scope and no incision was made when he pulled the polyp off the stalk for removal. I went to pick her up and she was still VERY groggy from the anesthesia. So groggy and crank she would not go into the carrier. I kept her in my arms at the vet's office for over an hour. Finally I called the fab hub and he picked us up as she slept in my arms the entire ride home. She would wake up every 45 minutes or so and fight me for a minute and the go back to sleep. This went on until at least midnight. She slept in my arm all night. She made no effort to walk or anything for the next day. We took her back to the vet. The vet believes she had a anesthesia stroke event. You could sweep the pieces of my heart off the floor. We were hand feeding her baby food 3 times a day and having to give her fluids to her back with a drip bag and needle. It made a water hump like a camel. She would walk a little bit. She could not see. She could not hear.
It has been almost two weeks now. She is walking and trotting around. She is eating on her own. She started drinking for the first time yesterday. She made her first crawl up on to the couch. She still is not seeing well. When the vet pulled out the polyp one of her facial nerves was pulled a bit and her 3rd eyelid is still showing and the pupil in that eye is slower to react to light. She looks a little off. Like a naked Helen Keller or a lost Roomba bumping into things.
She is purring and making a little meow sound. I just hope for a full recovery. Two weeks is a long time to wait. Watching her slowly get better is great, but it really is taking too long. All my efforts and time have gone into Bellini---I am sure you understand.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Eh, So it Was a Mistake

We have all made mistakes. Some small, some large. Some cost nothing, some cost millions, some cost lives. Some mistakes you can never take back no matter how hard you try. Some mistakes stay secret. Then there are our friends the Swiss. They really need to stick to punching holes in aged cheese. This is so damn funny to me. This is the only news I have seen since Anna Nicole died. I believe she is still dead and so dead they finally got her rotting body in the ground. If James Brown could only be so lucky........

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Then I'm So Strung Out.....

Wendy's is using "Blister in the Sun" as a song in a current commercial for a new cheese burger. I love the Violent Femmes. I loved them 15 years ago when they were only 15 years old....yeah, they have been around for a decade or three. I hear the commercial and I want to start singing. Then a get pissed because it is a fast food commercial. Internal conflict. I like the Wendy's raccoons, but they have gone too far with the Femmes. "American Music" was my favorite anyways....When I'm walking I start my stuff.....just does not say buy a burger to me.
The vegetarian will not be buying any fast food....even if the Femmes are involved.