Hooks, Spatulas, and Squeegies

Friday was brought to you 100% by Xanex.....

January 2005 I had my first laser eye surgery. It was time for the enhancement on my left eye. My vision was so crappy it could not be done in one shot. I was freaked out for the 1st procedure and the second did not really bring warm fuzzies either. I planned ahead and had my one lonely pill of Xanex. The fab hub took me to the laser center early Friday morning. We were going through the pre op stuff...measuring, comparing and all the good stuff when you correct vision. The first time they "create a flap", aka: cut the top micron layer of your eye to reveal the orange peel layer below. This is freaky. Did I mention you can see when the top layer is off? It is like opening your eyes underwater.
The second time you have laser eye surgery they lift the original flap. This is where it got freaky. The surgeon "marks" the flap edges. When I think of marking things I think of a Sharpie Marker. When a surgeon marks a flap he uses a needle on a handle. CRAP!
I had not had the magic pill yet and he was coming at me like a spider monkey. I asked for 30 minutes to let the magic pill work.
He came back and "marked" the flap. It was more like scoring my eye. Now it was time to go back and visit my friend the laser. I had a patch on my right eye, Yarr! Next it was time to fully lift the flap. The spider monkey came at me with the little hook instruments that are similar to what the dentist uses to scrape your plaque. I see the two hooks fighting to lift the flap. I see them enting my vision from the right, the top, the left, all over moving across my vision to lift the flap. Then a spatula came and lifted the flap to the side. It was finally up and the familiar underwater vision was back. Then there was some laser action. I smelled the yummy burning. The flap was placed back into position. Then there were squeegies smoothing the flap and getting it into good position. It was like two little window washers working quickly. Finally I was done. See ya later!
Next day I was able to read half of the 20/20 line with my left eye only!! Woot! My goal was street signs.
This is the freakiest thing. You see it all. Totally worth it....just bring you Xanex.