Happy Birthday?!

Today was my Gramie's birthday. Because I work entirely too much the gift I had thoughtfully purchased never made it in the mail. I have no time to drive up to where she lives. Eh, I punted and sent a same day gift. Instead of flowers I went all out and got her one of the edible arrangements from Fruit Flowers.

Pretty nice, huh? I would be delighted to get this. The delivery fee was an additional $30. I cannot blame them, like I said, you have to pack a lunch to get there and it was last minute so I was at the Fruit Flowers' mercy. I did have a wonderful gift card I had purchased for this occasion at half price.
So I call Gramie after working 13 hours and not really feeling like it.
"Happy Birthday, Gramie!!"
"Oh, thank you Mandy. I got the interesting fruit thing you sent. It is really different."
"Does it look good? The picture I saw online looked great!"
"Yes, it was so big" *thinking: WAS* "It took over an hour to take apart and put in the fridge. I need to go, Kent just got here with Taco Bell dinner."
Are you friggin' kidding me?! Internet, the point at hand was not to send a $100 fruit bowl. Next year: Publix gift card.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am back.
I know, whatever.
So, just because a few of you darlings may not be ready for this you get a disclaimer.
I vent and observe. I like to remember things. I post, therefore I am. In postings you may find some fowl language. I support marriage to whoever you like with no bias to religion, race or sex. If you love them, marry them. Not my business what you do behind closed doors. I think hard work is good and easy money, pandering, living off the government or just being a freedloader is wack. I like to discuss cars, Prada, nail polish, shoes, law, TV, my disdain for American Idol and my naked cat. I support Obama. I know I just lost some readers. I love food. Somehow I do not weigh four hundred pounds, I probably should because I eat like a sumo wrestler. I love music and wish I had more time and money to hit live shows. I love animals so much I cannot imagine eating them, so I do not. I am a strayed Catholic that does not have the spine to hike into mass. If you want to take me I will go, just scared. I think religion is what you make of it and I am not one to think any one form is any greater than the other. I am not going to call anything really fun out by name that has to do with my work life. Try and figure it, you will not unless you are directly involved. I think that about covers it...you have been warned. Enjoy at your own discretion.

Like a Rolling Stone

Oh Internet, it has been me, not you. Really, it is me. You see, I am so busy and I have all these great blog posts written in my head but I have not emptied out my head in a while. I apologize. I made friends with this new fangled Facebook. It makes me feel young and in touch. Forgive my back dating of posts...it is more for me than you. I need ore than the Facebook two line story. You all know my stories are far more than two lines.....

Work Stuff

I seldom discuss the thing I do 8 to 12 hours a day Monday through Friday. This week has been a week of anomalies. Monday I find out that a co worker who was off all last week sent an email at midnight Sunday and was off all this week as well. Great more work for me. Thanks.
I get a new lawsuit on my desk Wednesday that the incident occurred in 2001. The suit was filed and our insured was served while he was in jail in 2003. So 5 years later...I am investigating this loss. Incident: A guy sitting in his car with his girlfriend. The car is parked at an apartment complex and the girl friend indicates that she was seeing a guy outside the car on the side and pointed him out. The guy in the car shot the player outside the car. Fully resolved GSW to the jaw. I was cranky that plaintiff's counsel sent this crap to me. We insure cars, not drive bys. I called the policy holder and explained that his son's actions may not be covered by the policy and I was sending a reservation of rights out. He wanted to know why it was not cover and I explained the spirit of the policy is for motor vehicle accidents. I explained that gun violence is not covered and nor is there a policy rider for drive by shootings.
I started the coverage write up. Yeah, the policy defines "occupying" but it does not define "motor vehicle accident". I will not be happy if I have coverage cousel and defense counsel involved. Something that seemed like a fishing letter......

I have another one where a guy was driving a hearse at 4:30 am drunk and hit a car. There was a guy on the other side or the car trying to service the disabled car. He was dragged about a quarter mile before the hearse fled the scene. Six months later the guy died. He never left the hospital. The driver was served in jail in January. Can you say punitive? What about policy limit?

The deer hit from hell has finally settled. Amen.

It has been a long week. I hope next week is better.

Atlanta Gas: There is None

Last Tuesday I needed gas in my car. I waited until later in the evening and checked gasbuddy.com and found that the QT near my house has some gas. I figured the good people of Marietta would be at home making lunches for kids and looking over homework or watching the latest reality TV show. I rolled up to the QT. I sat in line for an hour and a half. The line took me behind the building, through the next door Bojangles parking lot and then back all the way across the front of the QT. Unreal. It is finally my turn and I go to the pump as directed. Here comes this stupid white Hyundai with middle aged white man in it. He tried to steal my pump! Go wait in line! He got close enough in his swoop in that I could not get close enough to get the nozzle to my car. The gas diva directing me told the guy to move on. He did not and made a fuss. I may have been yelling like a crazy woman back at him. Then the Marietta police officer stepped in and threw the guy out of the gas station. Another crazy driver was yelling at the gas diva that people were breaking in line and had ideas of how to better direct the pandemonium. She yells back at the guy, "Sir, I work at a gas station---if you do not like the way I am doing this move on to another station!". I love her.
You see, truly here in the Metro Atlanta area we have not had any gas. It slowed due to the last 2 hurricanes. There is also the smog situation here so we use "Atlanta Blend" gas. Sorta like a fancy regional coffee. Our gas blend is lower in sulfur to help combat our growing smog problem. Our hill billy Governor has temporarily lifted the call for only low sulfur gas so we are using whatever we can get to get the stations back to normal levels to get the motorists back to normal levels.
I filled up my car. As in 2 seats and very little trunk. Yeah, I need to pick the fab hub up from the airport.....since he packed like a girl I cannot fit him and the large bag in the TT. Back to the gas station in the FJ. This time I waited until 12am on Friday night. Who the hell gets gas then? Yeah, everybody. I waited in a quarter mile line, if not longer, another hour and a half. No altercation this time. No kidding that more stations are closed than open. I am so thankful I have a six mile commute and the fab hub works from home so this mess will likely be over by the next time we need gas.

Hung Over

This has nothing to do with my Summertime affinity for Guinness.
The Olympics have been amazing this year. I have been up late every night watching. On work nights I try and get to bed in the ten o'clock hour. It has been no earlier than midnight lately. When you couple that with school starting back and all of the additional roving stop signs and SUVs driven by frenzied mothers I cannot get to work on time. I felt like I was going to die in my cube today.
I remember attending anything I could get a super cheap scalped ticket for in 1996 when the Olympics were here. The feeling in the Olympic village was a glowing pride. I think that was the first time I felt patriotic to my core. I have the same feeling this time. I guess in 2004 I was too engrossed in renovating and planning our wedding to get into the Athens games. The skill of the athlets just envokes awe in me. I find the Olympic events much more exciting than baseball or football.
Phelps is a machine. I sware the kid has gills. I love the women's beach volleyball. Who doesn't love the gymnastics? For all of this I have given up sleep.
Go USA!!!

Pink is just fine with me

I love election years. I have been upset ever since Hillary conceeded. So far this is the best thing that has come out of the election....

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Fancy Trash Bags

I make no bones about it: I HATE FAKE HANDBAGS.
It really grates me to see women carrying them around. Come on...how may people do you think you are fooling? Only yourself. If you really like the style go get a Nine West bag. Fakes do not wear the same. I can spot them a mile away. They are all over eBay. Stop it.

Confessions of a Waffle House Waitress

Hello, my name is Mandy and I was once a Waffle House waitress.
My beginnings were very humble. I turned 15 and it was time for me to get a job. The minimum wage in 1993 was $4.25. I figured out working for minimum wage was for the birds. I am proud to say I have never worked for minimum wage. I waited tables. My best girlfriend worked there too and we had tons of fun. Over the summer we worked from 9pm to 7am and met all kinds of people, some were customers and others worked there. We would have nights of making $100 cash or more--that was big time for two kids. I graduated high school early and stayed there a little long and started my first 401k and I still own shares! After working there for a few years I was almost old enough for a liquor license and I found the right upscale, yet family owned, shady place to let me wait tables a few months before I turned 18. When we were slow I would hang out in the back of the house with the chef and smoke cigarettes and learn everything I could about food. I learned sauces, meats, fish, cutting, garnishing, timing and how to think on the fly when everything goes wrong and a ton of money is on the line. I was working my way through college and having fun. I started bartending there. One of the bartenders was too drunk one night and there I was. I then got a second job at a night club. I was working hard, making good money and hustling my way through college commanding honors each quarter. I left the shady family joint for an Italian restaurant that quite literally could have saved my life. I was moon lighting still as a bartender working at whatever bar popped up that I could make $500 or more a shift (Buckhead was good to me in those days). The people I worked with at the Italian place were majority Italian as well. It was like a second family. We all were Catholic, had big families and drops of drama would hit our lives. We would take turns making cakes for birthdays and we all sat down for dinner together before our shift started. It was what I needed at that point to keep me on the straight and narrow and keep me away from the evil guy I had dated.
I was in my senior year of college and I was still on my mom's health insurance. I knew I need to start a 401k and I needed health care available so it was time to go into a corporate world restaurant. I started working at Ruby Tuesday. I decided to stopped smoking my final quarter in school, graduated with honors and eventually took a job in public relations.
I was working at the number 3 firm in the world. People would beg to get in the door. Like most big companies in 2000 there were tons of perks. People came to our office to give massages to us. I could not get health care with them for 90 days. I stayed working two jobs so I could build my 401k and also maintain health care. I came to realize I hated PR. I quit after 3 months. One day I just left, put the top down on my car and drove home. My mother thought I was nuts for going to school, getting a degree and then quitting a good paying job.
I started picking up bar shifts and waiting tables at Ruby's and eventually I started a new job selling produce to restaurants. This was perfect for me: food-people-negotiation. I loved the job. It was a small company, so they did not offer benefits until I had been there for one year. I stayed at Ruby's on the weekends to maintain the 401k and health care. I bought my first house all by myself. Met the fab hub while working at Ruby's. I finally quit the restaurant business in 2003. For the first time in a long time I had only one job. After working long crazy hours and getting a new boss that gave Satan a run for his money I quit the job I once had loads of passion for. I then stumbled into auto insurance. Five years later I have landed into the position I again have passion for. I enjoy litigation. I give a damn.
I have worked hard. I have earned my way, paid my way and paid taxes for 15 long years. I have saved and planned. I refuse to feel sorry for anyone that does not push themselves to the max. Suck it up and stop sticking your hand out. My hard work has paid off. I have a great life. Great husband, cool house, sports car, the best cat, wonderful friends, loving family. I have never been happier or more grateful. The entitlements our country gives out to people grates me. People perfectly capable of working do not and it is crippling our government. I hate hearing excuses. If people put as much into working hard and bettering themselves as they do into trying to get something for nothing they would be getting ahead.
Everything I do I go to the wall. I cannot handle mediocrity. We can all do more. What are you doing?

January 20, 2009 --- The End of an Error

I have seen some intersting things today. A bumper sticker with the above quote was my favorite. When I was out with the fab hub we saw a group of angry Taco Bell workers picketing. I saw one of the longest and jerri curliest mullets I have ever seen. Many, many ill behaved children. A rubber chicken. Kinda random.

Bizarre is the only way to explaine it

This week has been an absolute roller coaster ride. In all my years of experience I have never seen this kind of stuff. Things that you may only see once in a three to five year span, odd things all through the week. Tuesday was the peek. Three crazy anomalies in one day. Jacked up. Due to the all the odd ducks floating in the moat around my desk I am going in on my day off today to go put the finishing touches on some stuff. If you need your dose of "Are you kidding me?!" law suits I can be your fix.
Then it is off to NYC. I am so excited to get out of my city and into another. I will share all the food I can. And yes, after each person I asked where to go: I now have reservations on Friday at NOBU.

Because I Have the Money, That's Why

If you are expecting a check from me after being the most royal pain in my ass trust me, it is in the mail to be sure you do not raise your head to me again. There is someone so special in the a state somewhere north of California that I really think she kills puppies for fun. After several friendly letters back and forth we got some business done. I send the check and give thanks she is out of my life. She was not done with me yet. I got a slanted voice mail from Ms. Puppy Killer looking for her check. Given the time difference (east coast vs. west coast) I felt the need to leave a friendly voice mail back telling her to call the USPS to find out how they deliver mail, as I am not in charge of that once I throw it in the mail. Yeah, I probably provoked her. Ms. Puppy Killer calls me pissed that about certain words on said check and demands a new one. Yeah, you can mail it back with a letter and spell it out for me. Overnight it? Hell no hooker, unless you want me to deduct $20. Relax, Relate, Release......Whhoooo-Sawwwww

Idology

I really do not like American Idol. I cannot get too deep about it because I do not watch it at all. I have never tortured myself with a full episode. I am sick of hearing about it at work. There has yet to be any talent come out of it. The songs are on the radio and they all sound the same. I don't get it. It is just not music with staying power. Why do people like karaoke by teenagers? You have to be drunk to get it.....I need to drink more obviously.

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner (Not in my House!)

Why is it wrong to not breed? I mean really.....
I don't like kids. It is no secret. I am good for maybe 5 minutes, then I get uncomfortable. Kids literally scare me. I don't know what to do with them or how to talk to them. I could not imagine cleaning up the messes....not the plastic toys, the spit and diapers and the pure nasty that comes out of them. Icky. All of my friends have either had kids or are pregnant. One of my best friends in New York is the only other chic I know that does not have kids. Even the ones that did not care for kids are pregnant. I am the only one.
Suddenly everyone is telling me I need to have children. Why? Isn't it okay and also responsible to know that I don't want kids? I do not have that maternal feeling. It's not something I dream about or desire. Screaming kids make my skin crawl. Having to own mounds of the latest and greatest plastic junk is not something that attracts me. A van....no. I cannot even handle having a back seat. I could not own a car with a back seat. I like it to be nice and clear there is no room for goldfish crackers or Cheerios in my car.
Over opinionated moms at work, on airplanes, in stores, at parties or where ever tell me how wonderful and rewarding being a mother is. They get sad when I tell them that is not a goal for me. They act like I am not fulfilling my duty as a woman. I have even been called selfish. They hate me for being on the cusp of 30 and not getting on my way to pushing a stroller.
So why is it a shame? I know what I want....and what I don't.

Not as bad

I thought it was going to be awful this past week. It was just me on Monday and my fearless leader was back on Wednesday. Seeing as how we use firms for all of our work we must pay them. I understand this. You get a legal bill, make sure you are not being utterly gouged and you pay it. Simple enough. When I tell you my bill basket is empty I mean you can see through the bin and see my desk. As in nothing in it. As in keeping up my daily work. Other people however don't mind leaving bills unpaid. When I tell you we went through over 2 feet of bills I am not kidding. It was over $200k in bills we paid. It needed to be done before the end of the year for the firms and for us. The upside is that my pending did not grow. The even better part is I have a 4 day weekend to blow off some steam and drink some champagne for New Year's Eve.

Because I had to

Thanksgiving this year was a bit small for my liking. Mom joined the fab hub and I. So why did I make 7 sides? It is no secret I do not like Thanksgiving food. I made roasted asparagus and a broccoli dish that is served cold for this reason, the fab hub demanded my macaroni and cheese, I wanted the best mashed potatoes in the world, mom needed sweet potatoes, mom desired fresh cranberry sauce, who can have thanksgiving without stuffing? So I was a bit busy with that.
I have gotten 3 Christmas tree up so far. We are just about decorated. The cats really like the disco ball garland on the flamingo tree.
I need to go make Chex mix, ya know--because I have not cooked enough.

The Idiot Box.....Truly

I am pissed that Sabrina was voted off or not voted enough to stay on DWTS. It hurts. It really does. I must exhaust all efforts on the race car driver. I hate Mel....she is the Laila Ali of this year to me.
George and Izzy need to break it up. Even the hand holding makes me puke a little bit in my mouth. I broke up with Private Practice...too slow. I still LOVE Kate Walsh and secretly hope Private Practice will be canceled and she will come back to Grey's.
The new evil neighbor in Housewives is killing me. I would throw down with her. Kick the shoes off, earrings out and hair pulled back kind of ass beating. And you know her lemon meringue pie is store bought.
Why is it that Kitty is pregnant? This does not seem like a good story line. Too many messes to clean up already and now this.

But my legs don't have a sore throat

I am pulling an all nighter....college years anyone?
I have had my ass kicked at work. Since I have been at the new place a whopping week it is time for a vacation. We leave in a few hours for a cruise -woot-
Yesterday I had my Mystic tan...no Oompa Loompa effect....tonight I had my toes done. The usual place was closed, as I had worked late. I went to the mall. They used something that had Halls Vapor mints ground into it. My legs felt CRAZY after this. Whatever...the little piggies have I'm not really a waitress red and it looks better than I could do.
On the work front I am bummed I am going to miss one of my trials while I am away. And I have learned mediation is a complete joke. And this mess with binding high low agreements on arbitrations...oh mercy the chain saws I juggle. The juggling monkey will go enjoy the warm waters. Then I will juggle more.....
Oh, I purchased a Nikon point and shoot. I figure since the DSLR is a Canon I would mix it up a bit. I will post some pix sometime upon my return.

Ganners: 1 Travelers: 0

I won! Heh.
The difference between the first offer of ACV and what we settled for was close to $5k. Bitch got paid. Should you need help with total loss actual cash value I can give you some pointers. Doesn't hurt being in the business.
Bottom line: There is no reason to be screwed.

FJ + Total Loss = Groundhog

I will be laying on a shrinks couch if this keeps up. I have a huge amount of anxiety about getting the FJ total loss settled. It is making me crazy. Really. My mind continues to go back to it. The rental is has to be turned in tomorrow and we cannot reach settlement so I do not have a check to use for a down payment. So since I have all of this anxiety I cannot sleep. I am getting about 3-4 hours a night. I even had a beer and a ground hog pill last night. I am turning into a zombie again. I need some sleep. I am stressed out.