Because I Have the Money, That's Why

If you are expecting a check from me after being the most royal pain in my ass trust me, it is in the mail to be sure you do not raise your head to me again. There is someone so special in the a state somewhere north of California that I really think she kills puppies for fun. After several friendly letters back and forth we got some business done. I send the check and give thanks she is out of my life. She was not done with me yet. I got a slanted voice mail from Ms. Puppy Killer looking for her check. Given the time difference (east coast vs. west coast) I felt the need to leave a friendly voice mail back telling her to call the USPS to find out how they deliver mail, as I am not in charge of that once I throw it in the mail. Yeah, I probably provoked her. Ms. Puppy Killer calls me pissed that about certain words on said check and demands a new one. Yeah, you can mail it back with a letter and spell it out for me. Overnight it? Hell no hooker, unless you want me to deduct $20. Relax, Relate, Release......Whhoooo-Sawwwww