With Love, Jon & Andrea

We live in a city just North of Atlanta. We are in a wonderful historic neighborhood. Our home was built in the 1890's. We share a driveway with our neighbor. The house has been vacant more than it has been occupied since we moved in almost 4 years ago. Our newest neighbor is a lease purchaser. I have been a very patient person. I have been wanting to tell you about her Innter Net, but I did not want to act prematurely. So let me pry my hands off of my lips.....
This new neighbor is a mess. A huge mess. Please Innter Net, tell me if I am wrong.
She moved in the first week of January. The fab hub helped her install a mailbox. This was our second time meeting them. This was the time that the fab hub's name was solidified: Jon (pronounced Jawn). No, that is not his name.
She came over again to borrow the drill. Jon advised of his correct name and showed her how to use the drill. She has been doing all kinds of home improvement over there. My personal favorite are the fake flowers "planted" in the front yard. I know the weather is all crazy and warm, but nothing says Winter like having a full blooming yard of silk flowers. She put a milk can on the front porch. Charming! Then there are the Mother In-Laws Tongue she planted outside. This is an indoor plant. It currently has a bag over it to protect it from tonight's frost. The yard is a train wreck which I believe will only get worse.
This neighbor of mine is probably in her mid 60s and is the poster child of bad plastic surgery. Really, do not go save a buck in Mexico. Her lips are like wet bags plastered on her face. She needs to get more collagen injected in there asap. She looks like a New Yorker that retired to Florida, but decided to work again and move to Atlanta.
Her daughter lives there too. She is probably in her early 30s and is mentally handicap. She hugs the fab hub when he comes home. I may need to worry about "the other woman". She has already shown him her new room.
They were parking the car directly behind the SmurFJ for a while. That finally stopped. Then there was the mammoth pile of trash in the driveway for two weeks. It should be an interesting year. Did I mention she claims to be an interior designer??

She Swallowed a Spider to Catch the Fly......

I feel like I'll die....
It all started on Friday. I threw my vitamins in my coat pocket to take once I got to work and had something to drink. I remembered that I needed to take them as I was doing a few things at once and swiped them out of my pocket and threw them in my mouth. Down the hatch.
I was grabbing for my glass to have a wash down of water when, "Oh, CRAP! I just swallowed a screw!".
Yeah, a screw.
I have a Prada key chain that had lost a screw and I kept it in my pocket to put it back together. That would be the same pocket I threw the vitamins in. I tried to gag. It did not work. Nothing really painful resulted other than feeling like a ate a tortilla chip made out of glass and steel.
Tonight I was taking a hand full of pills and I got a reminder about Friday. It hurts. I hope the screw is gone....I have no conclusive evidence.

Not One, but Two!!

I was all giddy and happy and such when Obama announced.
I was almost crying with happiness when Hillary announced.
I know many of you hate them.....but I am making my order for bronze statues this weekend. I wonder who will steal the sign from my yard next year? I bet I get a bulk discount, so no worries. Happy days are ahead!
On another note:
In Georigia we still cannot buy beer, wine or alcohol on Sunday. Blue laws crap that have never been challenged. This year it has been brought to the floor. Our red neck governor Sonny has stated it will not get his vote to pass. Even more backwoods is that there are dry counties, ie no alcohol any time or any day. Why? Simply because the good Lord don't like it much here in the South and the Bible is the only book you need, y'all. Teaches you time management. I had to plan ahead last night and make a stop for my Sunday sauce.......

Saturday

Since it feels like Spring time here in Atlanta (please see An Inconvenient Truth), I decided to start some Spring cleaning. I went through two closets and I have even listed some stuff in craigslist.org. Then the phone rang....

"We're here!"

"Where?"

"In the airport. Come have lunch."

Yay! I got to see my ex-step mom. I adore her and do not get to see her enough. She lives in Connecticut and was headed to Daytona with a lay over in Atlanta.

That was the best surprise since getting a cotton candy machine

I heart Vanna

I am so pleased about this. I once had Kitt (fabulous hair cutter at Van Michael Sandy Springs) watch Wheel just to see Vanna's oh-so-perfect layers and flip so I too could have her hair.
So happy for this.

La La La La La La

The end of the year is car shopping time and the fab hub and I have done just that. It was time for the Acura to go. After having a few conversations about bio diesel and Elements the fab hub decided on a Toyota FJ. I called dealers from North Atlanta to Savannah working numbers. I found my object of desire at World Toyota on Peachtree Industrial. We went and I was the good little wife. Sat in the back during the test drive and just smiled and nodded as we went over the vehicle. Then after two hours it was time. We went back into the little room. I reviewed the numbers, advised the deal will not work and this is what I need to make it happen. The finance guy tried to tell me he was on my side and this was it. Lying bastard. I waited for 2 hours to get to him. Damn straight I will get what I want.
You see, I am the Type A. I also am the car person of the family. I also happen to negotiate all day about money with attorneys.
The finance guy had left the room to go get the deal worked and the fab hub and I had a conversation:

Me: See, there is a little piranha that lives in my heart.
FH: So that is what is in there?
Me: She just comes out when needed.....

Thanks babe. We got the deal done and took delivery of a beautiful new 2007 FJ. It is blue and as you know has a white top. It looks like a Smurf. I call it "SmurFJ". I really think it would be a clever tag.
Even better to try out the new sound system the fab hub requested my Justin Timberlake CD. Oh, how nice it was blasting JT in the SmurFJ.....

The Best Thing Since......

I really love Christmas. I love the surprises, movies, family, food, cookies, trees, songs and all that Christmas goodness. Best of all I love getting a pile of gifts. For you my dear readers, I offer my Christmas review:

This hair dryer makes me have the best hair ever! Better than a Chi and made in Italy like all good things. Big thanks to Kitt (#1 hair stylist at Van Michael Salon) for helping the fab hub get this for me from the in laws.

Again, all good things come from Italy. If you have not had one of these little pieces of heaven get your ass up and go get some. They have sweet little love notes in them.

I love Justin. I don't care what you say. The fab hub hooked this up. Yummy!

I requested a certain popcorn tin for the tin this year. I got this huge tin with Santa on it. I WANTED THE FLAMINGO TIN. Do people really eat this crap? I will feed it to the office. I will try again next year . I don't want the popcorn.....just the tin. Who needs popcorn when I have hoarded so many cookies?

So I am not a fan of the French, flappy headed, frogs. I do, however, love some champagne. This is the only french contribution I will acknowledge. I believe it is pronounced, "Verve poo poo".

This is almost perfect. See, I am married to a geek. He knows every spec or will fully educate himself on every spec of anything that is quasi electronic. I wanted the Sony. We will exchange.
A self help book and a coffee mug for the fab hub and myself. We can drink coffee and learn the language of love.....um, thanks for thinking of us. Hermph....I needed a coffee mug. I was fresh out of them.....

Now who does not love a time traveling midget? I am too exhausted to expound on this. This is a train wreck that is actually my mother's white elephant gift. She was too tipsy to remember to steal the lottery tickets and ended up with midgets, time traveling midgets.

This is a sample of the Christmas goodness. I am not sharing my cookies. I probably have 5 dozen or so more to fatten myself with.

Llama Llama Duck

Mom came up and brought her cat Sophie with her. Bellini really does not know what to think of the large oddly marked cat. She has looked at her and sniffed her. Then she tried to growl at her. She sounds like a cooing dove. Bellini does not know how to growl. How sweet is my cat? Yeah, that sweet. And let me tell you it is funny hearing a cat growl like a dove trying to be fierce. A naked growling dove cat.....

I know, I know

I suck. I know....
Saying I have been busy is putting it all too nicely. I have been baking, shopping cleaning and planning all sorts of goodness for my favorite time of year. I really frickin' love Christmas. Today we will go to my Gramie's house. Before we go there we will hit the Niemans and Saks outlets since she lives 10 miles past where God stopped creating and for some reason that is where outlets are....
Then we come home clean up and go to my big fat Italian Christmas party. Yes, really, my family is huge, we are such a big family no one knows everybody and all the kids. We eat alot and then drink even more. Then it will be time for the white elephant gift exchange. I must admit I am slightly worried. I pissed a bunch of people off at last years as I got the highly coveted peacock stained glass window. People will be out for revenge.
More on Christmas fun....I shook a gift so much and so hard last night the fab hub thinks I broke it. Crap. I will not be happy opening broken stuff.