Pretty, Pretty Please with Sugar and a Cherry on Top??

OMG! I need this. Remember I have a birthday coming up. I beg you. Pretty, pretty please. I will be mostly nice for a long time. This is a must have accessory. Swoon.....

The Look of Fear

eyes
Originally uploaded by ganners.

There are very few things that I am afraid of. I am pretty well the kind of girl that will take the bull by the horns. I have 1 primal fear. I mean seriously, I am terrified on needles. So scared I do not have blood drawn under any circumstance and there will be no shots of anything in my life unless it is tequila served neat.
What brought this on is one evil phlebotomist. She jabbed into a vein-it blew. She jabbed again-miss. Another time-blew and collapsed. I had finally had enough sticks and was ready to go. She thought she could get it the last time.....black blood spewed from my veins and I swear the needle made the sound nails make on a chalkboard on my bone. Bad experience. I have not been able to let it go.
Two years ago I had Lasik eye surgery. I went in to have the procedure done. I had always worn glasses as my vision was so off the charts bad I could not wear contacts. I had worn glasses since I was 6. This was when glasses were not cool. I hated them. When the laser eye surgeries became available I was not a candidate. My eyes were so bad they were deemed as a risk and not correctable. Two years ago it all changed. I went in to have it done. I left in tears. I was too scared to have it done. I was so excited, but defeated my my fears. You see, when the procedure is done the doctor makes a "flap" (cuts the top of your eye off), peels it back, lasers your cornea and places the flap back in place. YOU CAN SEE THE ENTIRE TIME. So you have you flap peeled back and you can smell the cornea burning from the laser and you are looking at this while it is happening to your very eye. Scary. Too scary for me. They gave me a Valium....no effect....second Valium and chewed up this time.....nothing, I was straight as an arrow. I could not get it done on the first try.
Let me introduce you to my little friend Xanax. Yeah, no problems and smooth sailing. Cut my eye up and laser it please. I had to wear soup strainers for a week but it was all good.

The bad news: My vision is so crappy that I will need to have a 2nd procedure on the left eye. It should get me to 20/25 which is pretty darn good since I was borderline blind in the left eye.
I will need more Xanax. Since my nice doctor packed up and moved I will have to explain this to my new HMO doctor I have never met. That should be interesting.
Today I had the first step in finding out my vision has stabilized and I am now ready to go again. So here is the horrid picture I took of my dilated self. I chose dinner tonight by which place can we eat that is the darkest.
I hope this is all over within the next two months.

17 MPH

25 miles took me an hour and a half. I do not know how commuters do it. I would eat razor blades for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had to drop my car at the dealership for the horn issue and the disco stereo issue. They are in Roswell up 400. I have nothing nice to say about 400. The new lane that was just opened does nothing. Did I mention this was at 4 in the afternoon?? 400 is evil.
To get my stereo to go loco like it does for me and never for the dealer I was blasting a new Korn song called Transistor. I was shaking when I got out of the car at the dealer. Between the music and traffic and 400 in general I was one step away from a Xanax.
On a more pleasant note I got a new TT as my loaner. Sweet! Made sitting in traffic slightly nicer for my ride home.

Pure Genius

I will share a damn good drink with you. So simple you should be ashamed if you do not make it.

Dark Chocolate Mocha Martini

.5 ounce Kahlua
1.25 ounces superior vodka (Chopan is my choice)
4 ounces Godiva Dark Chocolate Mocha beverage (use a Crapachino if you must)

Pour over ice, shake, strain into a sassy martini glass and enjoy.

You will not need a chocolate drizzle, as there is so much chocolate in the Godiva you will have to shake it to get a good mix. Garnish with a cocoa dusting if you must.

Thank me later

We got a Wii, or Two

It finally happened. The world must be coming to an end. The fab hub had a good day in a Tram-Law (wal-mart). We called around 11 in the morning and they had 3 Wii left. About 20 minutes prior I had chugged some night time cold medicine that was beginning to knock me out. Being a good wife I get up and drive our asses to the Retnec Repus Tram-Law since he is still priming the engine in the SmurFJ and the TT is just made to be fast. We get in there and they still have the Wii. We bought one. Then called a friend.....yeah, we went back and got him one too. They tried to pull the "1 per customer" crap. I then pointed out that the fab hub and I are two different people. I am excited.....yippy skippy!

With Love, Jon & Andrea

We live in a city just North of Atlanta. We are in a wonderful historic neighborhood. Our home was built in the 1890's. We share a driveway with our neighbor. The house has been vacant more than it has been occupied since we moved in almost 4 years ago. Our newest neighbor is a lease purchaser. I have been a very patient person. I have been wanting to tell you about her Innter Net, but I did not want to act prematurely. So let me pry my hands off of my lips.....
This new neighbor is a mess. A huge mess. Please Innter Net, tell me if I am wrong.
She moved in the first week of January. The fab hub helped her install a mailbox. This was our second time meeting them. This was the time that the fab hub's name was solidified: Jon (pronounced Jawn). No, that is not his name.
She came over again to borrow the drill. Jon advised of his correct name and showed her how to use the drill. She has been doing all kinds of home improvement over there. My personal favorite are the fake flowers "planted" in the front yard. I know the weather is all crazy and warm, but nothing says Winter like having a full blooming yard of silk flowers. She put a milk can on the front porch. Charming! Then there are the Mother In-Laws Tongue she planted outside. This is an indoor plant. It currently has a bag over it to protect it from tonight's frost. The yard is a train wreck which I believe will only get worse.
This neighbor of mine is probably in her mid 60s and is the poster child of bad plastic surgery. Really, do not go save a buck in Mexico. Her lips are like wet bags plastered on her face. She needs to get more collagen injected in there asap. She looks like a New Yorker that retired to Florida, but decided to work again and move to Atlanta.
Her daughter lives there too. She is probably in her early 30s and is mentally handicap. She hugs the fab hub when he comes home. I may need to worry about "the other woman". She has already shown him her new room.
They were parking the car directly behind the SmurFJ for a while. That finally stopped. Then there was the mammoth pile of trash in the driveway for two weeks. It should be an interesting year. Did I mention she claims to be an interior designer??

She Swallowed a Spider to Catch the Fly......

I feel like I'll die....
It all started on Friday. I threw my vitamins in my coat pocket to take once I got to work and had something to drink. I remembered that I needed to take them as I was doing a few things at once and swiped them out of my pocket and threw them in my mouth. Down the hatch.
I was grabbing for my glass to have a wash down of water when, "Oh, CRAP! I just swallowed a screw!".
Yeah, a screw.
I have a Prada key chain that had lost a screw and I kept it in my pocket to put it back together. That would be the same pocket I threw the vitamins in. I tried to gag. It did not work. Nothing really painful resulted other than feeling like a ate a tortilla chip made out of glass and steel.
Tonight I was taking a hand full of pills and I got a reminder about Friday. It hurts. I hope the screw is gone....I have no conclusive evidence.

Not One, but Two!!

I was all giddy and happy and such when Obama announced.
I was almost crying with happiness when Hillary announced.
I know many of you hate them.....but I am making my order for bronze statues this weekend. I wonder who will steal the sign from my yard next year? I bet I get a bulk discount, so no worries. Happy days are ahead!
On another note:
In Georigia we still cannot buy beer, wine or alcohol on Sunday. Blue laws crap that have never been challenged. This year it has been brought to the floor. Our red neck governor Sonny has stated it will not get his vote to pass. Even more backwoods is that there are dry counties, ie no alcohol any time or any day. Why? Simply because the good Lord don't like it much here in the South and the Bible is the only book you need, y'all. Teaches you time management. I had to plan ahead last night and make a stop for my Sunday sauce.......

Saturday

Since it feels like Spring time here in Atlanta (please see An Inconvenient Truth), I decided to start some Spring cleaning. I went through two closets and I have even listed some stuff in craigslist.org. Then the phone rang....

"We're here!"

"Where?"

"In the airport. Come have lunch."

Yay! I got to see my ex-step mom. I adore her and do not get to see her enough. She lives in Connecticut and was headed to Daytona with a lay over in Atlanta.

That was the best surprise since getting a cotton candy machine

I heart Vanna

I am so pleased about this. I once had Kitt (fabulous hair cutter at Van Michael Sandy Springs) watch Wheel just to see Vanna's oh-so-perfect layers and flip so I too could have her hair.
So happy for this.

La La La La La La

The end of the year is car shopping time and the fab hub and I have done just that. It was time for the Acura to go. After having a few conversations about bio diesel and Elements the fab hub decided on a Toyota FJ. I called dealers from North Atlanta to Savannah working numbers. I found my object of desire at World Toyota on Peachtree Industrial. We went and I was the good little wife. Sat in the back during the test drive and just smiled and nodded as we went over the vehicle. Then after two hours it was time. We went back into the little room. I reviewed the numbers, advised the deal will not work and this is what I need to make it happen. The finance guy tried to tell me he was on my side and this was it. Lying bastard. I waited for 2 hours to get to him. Damn straight I will get what I want.
You see, I am the Type A. I also am the car person of the family. I also happen to negotiate all day about money with attorneys.
The finance guy had left the room to go get the deal worked and the fab hub and I had a conversation:

Me: See, there is a little piranha that lives in my heart.
FH: So that is what is in there?
Me: She just comes out when needed.....

Thanks babe. We got the deal done and took delivery of a beautiful new 2007 FJ. It is blue and as you know has a white top. It looks like a Smurf. I call it "SmurFJ". I really think it would be a clever tag.
Even better to try out the new sound system the fab hub requested my Justin Timberlake CD. Oh, how nice it was blasting JT in the SmurFJ.....