My trip to Africa

Sweet Gawd!
Why, oh why does simple machinery choose to die on special occasions?
Such as tonight, the end of July, beginning of August?
It is the AC. It is dying. A death that you can probably hear now. I apologize to all that have bear witness to the squealing piece of hell. It is so loud I truly am surprised we have not gotten a noise complaint.
It is hot as Africa here. I noticed when I came home that it was a balmy 78 degrees in the house. I thought the fab hub had messed with the thermostat to save more money, thus cranking up the away temp on the control panel. Nah, just the house getting good and warm....
So I go to sleep early since I wake up early. About 12am I am awakened to the sound of AC death. It sounds like the wheel on Wheel of Fortune if it needed 4 gallons of WD-40.
I review what is causing this wonderful sound. Indeed the compressor is praying to the AC God of death to take it. But it does not go without pain. It marches through with the fan trying to spin and belt squeaking for all to hear. I ask the fab hub if we should turn it off for fear of death, or worse a sparky fire. Nah, then we would be too hot.
I finally get up and look at the thermostat.....yes, indeed we have cooled down....to a fridgid 77 degrees. We have crossed 6 hours from my last check.
I am dripping sweat. I am bitchy from heat. I turn on the ceiling fan to try and sleep.
Not happening. The fan is on so high that we may as well have a helicopter landing on the bed. The naked cat is in heaven that it is so hot. She no longer needs to seek heat, as she has hit the heat jack pot up in this camp.
I want to go to a hotel. I would move into the freezer if I would fit.
I wanted to call the HVAC guy in June. Nah, the fab hub says, the AC is fine. No dear, it was not blowing well then either. I am sure when we have the guy come out it will not be something simple. You see, that is not how the money pit works. Everything must cost three times more than what is normal. I bet we need a new system and something will need to be retro fitted and since hippies have screwed us on anything with Freon we will need some fancy expensive item that cannot be used without buying 3 more fancy items......I am betting in the neighborhood of 5k. In fact, given the size of our home I would bet they actually want to install 2 units.
Here is the best part....I purchased our cruise package today. I have this odd feeling I will somehow spend $10,000 by the end of the week. It really does not sound good.
I cannot sleep for a myriad of reasons, including how ruthlessly hot it is, the squealing belt, the sweat in my hair, and the thought of having to endure this for one more night. Makes me think of Toto, The Rains of Africa........I miss the rains down in Africa.......