Pink is just fine with me

I love election years. I have been upset ever since Hillary conceeded. So far this is the best thing that has come out of the election....

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

My Second Trip to Africa

As you may recall I last visited Africa about this time of year in 2006.
Last night a huge storm swept through the booming metropolis of Marietta. The power went out around 9pm and came back on sometime in the middle of the night. Of course we had an overnight guest. I notice the house was warmer than usual, but dismissed it as the AC not working due to the power outage. There were huge branches down all over the place. I took two hours to clean up the yard today. A neighbor up the street has pretty bad damage from a tree coming down on the house. I came back in from yard work and thought it was warm, but I dismissed it again reminding myself I just shlepted limbs from all over the yard to the curb and pushed a broom since the blower is on the fritz.
The house is currently 85 degrees. Of course it is late Sunday, so it is slim pickings of who will come fix it and I am sure it will come with a premium when the Coolray man gets here.
To add insult to injury the Fab Hub is in San Fran and says it is too cold and he may need to buy a sweatshirt and jeans. As I wipe the sweat from my brow I dream of 60 degree weather.
Just pondering how much this will set us back. We just dropped $5k on tree removal so it would not surprise me if this time it needs replacement.....
The naked cat is in heaven.

Gnarsty!

I was driving home yesterday and a man at a bus stop had a gallon of milk in his hand that was about one quarter full. He then lifted the gallon of milk to his mouth and took a big drink. I thought I was going to puke. It was 98 degrees yesterday. What the hell?? Yuck. My eyes still burn from seeing it. I know the jug had to be sweaty. Icky. I hope he did not stand there and drink a damn gallon of milk at the bus stop. Eek.
I have a serious milk aversion. I will not drink it. That man is beyond gross.

How Dark & Twisty?

I have always been a rather dark and twisty person. I took it to a whole new level Tuesday. I had my teeth cleaned. My dentist of 25 years retired so it was time to find a new dentist. I wanted someone who was cool, yet knowledgeable. Instead of asking people who they go to I set out kudzu.com. I like this website bunches. I get it when people are so pissed off they unleash online about how horrible a good or service is. When you see oodles of people raving about a dentist that is something special. So I selected my new kick ass dentist based on reviews.
I had a super cleaning with Amy. I wish she were not moving away when her hubby graduates PA school. She is great. Dr. Snyder gave a look over and went over my xrays. I have only had the occasional filling done. Nothing exciting. I found out my lower right canine tooth has a dead nerve. When you look at this on an xray you see a little black halo around the base. I have never had a cavity in the tooth, it does not hurt, no trauma or anything. Yeah, I need a root canal. WTF?! So whatever, I have an Emo tooth with a black halo. It gets fixed in August.....

PSA for Men

Dear gentlemen,

I know you feel flip flops are great shoes to wear in the summertime. For the courtesy of all those around you, please get a pedicure. The Wolverine look it not working. Get the nice lady at the nail salon to clip and prune and file that mess. You will feel better and look better. I promise.

Thank you,

M.

Fancy Trash Bags

I make no bones about it: I HATE FAKE HANDBAGS.
It really grates me to see women carrying them around. Come on...how may people do you think you are fooling? Only yourself. If you really like the style go get a Nine West bag. Fakes do not wear the same. I can spot them a mile away. They are all over eBay. Stop it.

Yee Haw Y'all

Wow! This is so special. About an hour from me something very Whiskey Tango occured. Words do not describe. Be sure to check out the slide show.


Whisky Tango: adjective. Also known as: W.T. or White Trash

Sweet Baby 8 Pound Jesus IT HURT!

I mind my own business and pretty much keep to myself at work. I was having my usual busy day when I took a bathroom break. I go into the lady's room. Shut the big wooden louvered door when BOOM I slam my right index finger in the stall door. I thought I was going to pass out and hit my head on the toilet it hurt so bad. My finger nail is dented. I am happy to report my nail has not fallen off.

Confessions of a Waffle House Waitress

Hello, my name is Mandy and I was once a Waffle House waitress.
My beginnings were very humble. I turned 15 and it was time for me to get a job. The minimum wage in 1993 was $4.25. I figured out working for minimum wage was for the birds. I am proud to say I have never worked for minimum wage. I waited tables. My best girlfriend worked there too and we had tons of fun. Over the summer we worked from 9pm to 7am and met all kinds of people, some were customers and others worked there. We would have nights of making $100 cash or more--that was big time for two kids. I graduated high school early and stayed there a little long and started my first 401k and I still own shares! After working there for a few years I was almost old enough for a liquor license and I found the right upscale, yet family owned, shady place to let me wait tables a few months before I turned 18. When we were slow I would hang out in the back of the house with the chef and smoke cigarettes and learn everything I could about food. I learned sauces, meats, fish, cutting, garnishing, timing and how to think on the fly when everything goes wrong and a ton of money is on the line. I was working my way through college and having fun. I started bartending there. One of the bartenders was too drunk one night and there I was. I then got a second job at a night club. I was working hard, making good money and hustling my way through college commanding honors each quarter. I left the shady family joint for an Italian restaurant that quite literally could have saved my life. I was moon lighting still as a bartender working at whatever bar popped up that I could make $500 or more a shift (Buckhead was good to me in those days). The people I worked with at the Italian place were majority Italian as well. It was like a second family. We all were Catholic, had big families and drops of drama would hit our lives. We would take turns making cakes for birthdays and we all sat down for dinner together before our shift started. It was what I needed at that point to keep me on the straight and narrow and keep me away from the evil guy I had dated.
I was in my senior year of college and I was still on my mom's health insurance. I knew I need to start a 401k and I needed health care available so it was time to go into a corporate world restaurant. I started working at Ruby Tuesday. I decided to stopped smoking my final quarter in school, graduated with honors and eventually took a job in public relations.
I was working at the number 3 firm in the world. People would beg to get in the door. Like most big companies in 2000 there were tons of perks. People came to our office to give massages to us. I could not get health care with them for 90 days. I stayed working two jobs so I could build my 401k and also maintain health care. I came to realize I hated PR. I quit after 3 months. One day I just left, put the top down on my car and drove home. My mother thought I was nuts for going to school, getting a degree and then quitting a good paying job.
I started picking up bar shifts and waiting tables at Ruby's and eventually I started a new job selling produce to restaurants. This was perfect for me: food-people-negotiation. I loved the job. It was a small company, so they did not offer benefits until I had been there for one year. I stayed at Ruby's on the weekends to maintain the 401k and health care. I bought my first house all by myself. Met the fab hub while working at Ruby's. I finally quit the restaurant business in 2003. For the first time in a long time I had only one job. After working long crazy hours and getting a new boss that gave Satan a run for his money I quit the job I once had loads of passion for. I then stumbled into auto insurance. Five years later I have landed into the position I again have passion for. I enjoy litigation. I give a damn.
I have worked hard. I have earned my way, paid my way and paid taxes for 15 long years. I have saved and planned. I refuse to feel sorry for anyone that does not push themselves to the max. Suck it up and stop sticking your hand out. My hard work has paid off. I have a great life. Great husband, cool house, sports car, the best cat, wonderful friends, loving family. I have never been happier or more grateful. The entitlements our country gives out to people grates me. People perfectly capable of working do not and it is crippling our government. I hate hearing excuses. If people put as much into working hard and bettering themselves as they do into trying to get something for nothing they would be getting ahead.
Everything I do I go to the wall. I cannot handle mediocrity. We can all do more. What are you doing?